One of my favorite places to think is the shower. I've been rather notorious throughout my life for taking too long to clean myself up, but most of the time the reason is that I just love the invigoration and thought that water provokes. It's wonderful to be in the shower, warm, active, and with one's mind completely free. There's always been something about water that wakes my mind up, so the shower is the perfect place for musings.
Tonight, my shower subject is a familiar one: being single in a coupled world. I've been talking, thinking, and ranting about this subject so much recently that for some this will be very old news. But I haven't actually written this out yet (at least, not in a coherent way that doesn't involve midnight e-mail rants), and my mind feels the need to spew.
Friendship has been probably the most important thing in life to me over the last few years. My family doesn't—perhaps can't—understand me, but my friends have seen a bit more and are better able to understand my struggles with doubt, faith, and depression. I'm finally squaring with the fact that I'm not so much of an introvert as I once thought I was, which leaves me with the inevitable need for people. No, not a room full of them, but some that I can try to share love, understanding, and life with. I've had semblances of that, and I can't possibly overstate how much better they've made me.
It seems, though, that my longing for sustainable friendship, for some sense of stability, just isn't realistic for a recent post-grad. Even the friends with whom I've been closest have moved away and/or become involved in relationships that become more important than me (yep, even those who bemoaned the anti-singleness of society with me). How is a single girl, who wants nothing more than to share life with others, to deal with the coupling and vagabonding that accompany post-college life? This is a question that frightens me to death, mostly because I'm living it and failing to find viable answers.
Friends, I welcome your thoughts. I wish I had easy answers to this, but even difficult ones are eluding me right now. How can people so in need of community thrive in such a disjointed world? Can single people be in mutually-sustaining relationships? Is it possible for coupled folks to understand the emotional, physical, and intellectual needs of their single friends?
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