Small update, for those who may be interested... I went back on the Prozac. I snapped at one of my roommates today (in my passive-aggressive, mostly-in-my-head kind of way), and it was the last stroke. I've had too many sobbing breakdowns and too much social phobia over the last couple of days. Not to mention just being "mopey" and angry at the world. That's not who I want to be. So, now what's left is to figure out how to deal with the side effects that made me want off the drugs in the first place.
I covet your prayers and your thoughts. I'm frustrated with feeling stuck in pretty much everything, and I can't tell you what I'd give to sleep normally again. I hate asking for help, but, well, here I am again.
15 years ago
3 comments:
My dear,
I love you and I miss you and I wish I had any words of wisdom or anything at all. These days, my heart is too torn apart itself to have much of any idea what to offer you. But know that I love you dearly, and I really hope that you find a way to live in this space.
Me.
You are a courageous woman. I don't know what side effects you're experiencing (can't imagine you're bothered much by a diminished libido), and I get so frustrated by the idea that the medicine makes you feel worse in some ways. Maybe prozac isn't the best antidepressant for you, but another one might manage your symptoms better with less (or different or more tolerable) side effects? As an aside, I have started taking fish oil (omega 3) softgels. I never got into the St. John's wort theory (though I have friends that swear by it), but after reading somewhere that omega 3 fatty acids help mood, I thought I'd try it. It makes sense to me that my brain might need more fat to get everything firing. The burps are nasty, but I do feel some correlation with improved mood when I take it regularly. Anyway, please keep us posted. I will light a candle for you tonight.
Alicia - I am thinking of you and praying for you often. I hate that you feel so stuck and powerless, but I admire you for never giving up, hanging in there and trying new things. And amidst all of this frustration with what might be "wrong" with you, remember all of the good, wonderful things about yourself that people love about you :)
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